Engaged and Starry-Eyed

THE evening of my LIFE. We have that oh-my-goodness-we're-going-to-get-married-yay-yay-yay look in our eyes, wouldn't you say? SO happy to be in love. And the promise of a lifetime together was a thrill I still haven't gotten over.

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Figuring out how many guests we would have...

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The glint of that stone still catches my eye and still makes my heart skip a beat.

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Wedding details..... ahhh!

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Pretty much inseperable.

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On our way to a friend's wedding dance. LOVE the Class-A's.

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Engagement photo's

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The photo that wound up in our invitations

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Nothing makes the you're-getting-married-for-real reality strike like wedding invitations to your own wedding do.

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Family shot (excluding Mom) with Andy's family and awesome Grandma. LOVE her!

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Trying on the wedding dress is another good way to prove to yourself that you are actually getting married, and that the love of your life isn't just a wonderful dream you're having.

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We were painting the deck...

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Until Andy decided to paint me. Dark brown.

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I tried to return the favor. Wasn't as effective.

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"You raise me up.... I am strong when I am on your shoulders....." Sorry. That was tacky.

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We were pretty excited about getting married...

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Madly in love.

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So happy about the fact that dreams really do come true.

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And some fairy tales.... are actually real.

Romance

"Romance is the deepest thing in life.
It is deeper even than reality."

--G.K. Chesterton

Dating Days

Nothing so sweet as going back in time to memories made when love was so new and fresh and unexplored. Falling in love with my Andrew was an amazing experience. Truth be told, he tripped me and made me fall hard. And boy, he does not cut it out! He makes me fall flat on my face every day, and I'm so twitterpated I love every minute of it. Which is good. It makes marriage so wonderful... Keeps that love feeling so fresh and new and the more we explore of it, the more we discover we have a lifetime of it yet to explore! It's a grand thing to be married to that boy.

Our first picture together. You should've seen the comments on facebook when this appeared as my profile picture the following day.

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Hanging out before he had one of his drill weekends... I always thought he looked so handsome in his ACU's. Of course, that wasn't the only thing that attracted me to him, in case you're wondering.

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Back when the thought of bearing his name was a thought that seemed too good to be true. A novel idea for somewhere in the remote future, I tell you. And, as you can see, I liked it. A lot.

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Doing what he does best; and that would be.... teasing me. He hasn't changed either.

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On top of the world. And I really loved being close to him. I still do.

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Everything he did made me smile. Crazy love.

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A romantic evening by the lake...

Because Morning Sickness Was So Wonderful

"Oh! Girls..." I sighed, in all my randomness, dramatically clutching my heart in the middle of a conversation-over-coffee in my sister's living room with girlfriends; "I so wish I was feeling morning sickness right now!"

Raising their eyebrows at this sudden change of subject and a look of slight concern for the deranged woman in their midst, they all began to declare with pensive sarcasm how they wished they were having bladder infections, and how a really good back ache would so hit the spot, and that transition right now would feel awesome.

I admit. That sounded a little weird. Especially for someone like me to say that. I'm the one who, all my life, would have chosen any ailment of any sort for any length of time over nausea if she could. Vomiting was the ultimate form of misery and torture that one's body could be afflicted with as far as I was concerned. In fact, I still am thusly concerned, come to think of it.

Yet now here I am keenly feeling an exception to the rule. How can I put it? There's a certain nausea that... Well. Don't laugh at me... But I honest-to-goodness miss it.

Pregnancy has its stages. The positive pregnancy test which leads to the wonderful morning sickness which leads to the porcelain bowl in the bathroom that has that nifty little lever which comes in very handy for removing certain contents which we will not speak of. And then come all the fun things like hearing the heartbeat, and getting a cute little tummy, and feeling the baby move, and getting backaches, and new bras, and let us not forget to mention the pregnant and hormonal card you get to pull....

You count the weeks...
You think of names...
You have a baby.

All in the course of forty weeks, give or take.

The allotted nine months since our baby was conceived have now come and gone. I didn't get to go through all the stages like I was so eager to. I never got to hear our baby's heartbeat, or feel our baby move. I never got to wear the maternity clothes I bought, which also means I don't even have a stretch mark to show for it.... no backache, no braxton hicks, no transition... No baby.

All I got to have was that incredible love I felt from the moment that second line appeared on the test.

And morning sickness.

I miss it. I honestly miss morning sickness. I miss feeling the presence of my baby, even if it had to be by waves of nausea. I miss knowing his little heart was beating under mine even while I was groping for the package of saltines before I dared to open my eyes up in the morning. I miss the sacrifices I got to make to be his mommy.

I so wish I was feeling that morning sickness, because I really, really miss my little baby.

**Photo taken at 12 weeks,
and a few hours before I found out that our little baby was with Jesus.

The Last Goodbye

A storm blew in from the North last night. Temperatures outside have dipped into the 50's and there's a bone-chilling wind. Normally I greet the Autumn weather with a bit of trepidation. Colorful trees,warm, cozy fireplaces and snuggly knit sweaters hold the initial charm of season's changing. But as the temperatures steadily drop you know that it won't be long before the roads are glazed in ice and snowstorms will dictate your ability to make plans and keep them. Plus, I have zero tolerance for cold... I. Do. Not. Like. To. Be. Cold.

However, this year the shivers down the spine from the first chill outside holds a bit of a thrill. By the next time warm weather sets in, Andy will be home. Never have I so anticipated winter. Ever! BRING IT ON.

After being apart for 135 days, Andy finally got to come home for 15 blissfully wonderful and horrifically fast days together before we had yet another tearful goodbye for another approximately 130-some, give or take, days apart.

Our one-year anniversary was on the 30th of August. Andy came home on the 4th of September and we celebrated in style, re-visiting our honeymoon location on the Carribbean beach of Mexico.



It was an absolutely beautiful time making memories together we'll always cherish. We spent 8 nights in Mexico, and then returned home for the small remainder of time that was left. Every day we were together I was reminded over and over again of how wonderful my husband is and how much I love to be with him and how great it will be when we never have to say goodbye like this again (not that I ever doubted the above-stated facts).
It was especially special this time around because for the first time we had a home of our own for him to come home to. A real home! And we loved every minute of our own space and our own time. He was so cute about how much he liked it... *grin*
(Cutting our wedding cake... and yes, this time it ended up all over my face. But naturally he didn't get away with it)

And then it was time again to say goodbye. I hate goodbyes! But the only good thing about this one was... it would be the last one. It is a relief now that we are in the home stretch... Sitting at the wretched airport wishing the clock would just stop for once, I felt a slight tinge of happiness (as much happiness as the moment would allow considering the circumstances) when it hit me that we would never have to do this again.

For now, of course I still feel every hour that drags by. I'm all for skipping October, November and December this year. But next time I kiss him hello, I will be kissing goodbyes goodbye!

The Reminder of a Promise

Sleepless Random Things

You'd think after 5 months of deployment a girl could get used to this sleeping by herself thing. But nope. Here I am bright eyed and bushy tailed at nearly 4am not one bit interested in that big cozy (cold and lonely) bed. My house is getting cleaned and there's a batch of granola baking in the oven to be sent to a certain sweetheart overseas who loves to snack on dry granola. (Did you know a person can get really creative when there are no mixing bowls in the house???)

Fact: The internet ......sure is quiiiet...... at this time of night. Or morning. Whatever you want to call it.

Here's a very few of my favorite moments I had the honor of capturing that are cluttering up my hard drive...

(click to enlarge)

Time Flies? I Wish.

Everybody's complaining about how fast the summer is flying by. I guess that typically is the complaint of summer... But this year it's not so with me. Summer couldn't possibly drag by any slower.

This afternoon I was dwelling in a quiet moment of relief that so much time has passed since Andy's departure, and feeling like it won't be long now! Heh. Then I counted. Today marks 3 months since we have seen each other. Only 3 months, mind you. That's only 91 days. We haven't even reached the 100's marker! Ugh. Not even half way there yet. This summer is feeling like eternity. Never in my life have I looked forward to winter... Until this year. I'm aching for the freezing cold I've always despised.... Because with it comes Andy.


That's it for complaints for now. I will just give you a glimpse of what the last 2 or 3 weeks have looked like for me... When I'm not glued to the conversation I'm having with my hubby on my phone.

(I love technology these days... Really, I do.)

4th of July parade

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Fireworks,
in case you were wondering
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Best of all.... My brother Gabe came home for his 2 weeks of R&R.
This is what a soldier on R&R looks like.
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All of us siblings together... doesn't happen so often anymore. The joys of growing up.

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Moving into my new apartment! Yes... Andy and I have a real home now.

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Before Gabe left, I got to take pictures of him and Anna. Cutest couple ever, with the exception of Andy and I of course.

He Is

Recently, in a moment of boredom of all things, I read through the book of Deuteronomy. To be completely candid and open with you, the book has always been a boring one for me. One of the "Thou Shalt" and "Thou Shalt Not" books. But that particular afternoon, suddenly I saw it in a different light. It wasn't a book of the law so much as it was a book that revealed the true heart of God. Reading it with a heart to know Him and understand His ways revealed the deeper aspect of the book, and I found that Deuteronomy is an amazing reflection on who God really is.

For He is...

"For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you."
Deuteronomy 4:31

"For I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God."
Deuteronomy 5:9

"The LORD will establish you as his holy people."
Deuteronomy 28:9

"Know therefore that the LORD your God is God;
He is the faithful God,
keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations
of those who love Him and keep His commands."

Deuteronomy 7:9

"What other nation is so great as to have such righteous decrees and laws
as this body of laws I am setting before you today?"
Deuteronomy 4:8

"He will show you mercy, and have compassion on you.
Deuteronomy 13:17

"He is the Rock, His works are perfect,

and all His ways are just.

A God of truth and without iniquity
upright and just is He."
Deuteronomy 32:4


"For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords,
the great God, mighty and awesome."

Deuteronomy 10:17

10 Months Ago...

I married...
My best friend.
My one and only.
My true love.
My knight in shining armor.
The man of my dreams.
My rock.My Lover.

Dabbling in Photography

The truth is, I have been dabbling in photography for years, but never had anything more than a normal point-and-shoot camera to fiddle with. Well, today the brown man in the brown truck dropped off a big brown box filled with lots of goodies and a fancy camera. All thanks to that wonderful soldier husband of mine who does nothing with his spare time but spoil me to death. So now I get to take my dabbling to the next level. In the mean time, look at what that schmancy instrument can do (I have only taken 154 images since that rebel arrived in the mail).