Love That Man

I love my husband.

I love spending time with him.

I love that his job allows us to be together a lot... usually.

I love that we don't get sick of each other.

I love that he loves having coffee with me.

I love our life together.

I love that if ever there was a perfect marriage, it's ours.

I love that he would much rather I ignore house work when he's around.

I love that he changes my facebook status every chance he gets to say cute things about me 

(it's embarrassing and endearing all at the same time).

I love that he loves our little boy.

I love the look in his eyes when he watches Jimmy accomplish something new.

I love the way they play together.

I love his random gestures of sweetness.

I love that he thinks I'm beautiful.

I love that he loves me.

I am so blessed. 

This post was originally composed in my head to explain how I love mornings like this... Calm, beautiful, quiet... The baby is still sleeping, the man is hunting. My phone is buzzing off the hook, as they say, with text messages about the 10-pointer my sister got... An eagle is soaring over the lake... The house is clean, my coffee brewed with pumpkin spices is tasty... So to preface my thoughts on such pleasantries due-to-the-man-being-gone this early morning, I was going to make sure everyone understood how I adore him. And then, I couldn't stop. And at the end of it, I am missing him... Here's to hoping he gets a 12-point monster or bigger. 

EDITED TO ADD: within 45 minutes of Hannah shooting her buck, Andy got himself a large 9-pointer. Not quite as big as Hannah's, but the rack was wider and if you're like me and have no idea what that has to do with coolness, just trust me. I think that makes it close to being almost as cool as Hannah's. Though, Hannah's still has his beat by approximately 10 inches in the scoring. If you don't know what that means, don't feel bad. I didn't either until recently. I just may put a photo up of the two of them later....

The Only Thing That's Changed

One year ago... my sweet man stooped to one knee and told me how much he loved me and asked me to be his wife. One year ago... I looked into those handsome blue eyes just brimming with love and adoration. One year ago... he wrapped me in his arms and held me close and whispered his love and overwhelmed me with that sense of strength and protection. One year ago... I promised my life and heart to him. One year ago... the incredible love I had for that wonderful man was so great I couldn't put it into words.

It's been a year. I can hardly believe it. The feelings we had for each other that day were so great, so powerful, so intense, so precious. The only thing that has changed since then is the passion burns brighter, the intensity has increased, the love has grown so great it is too hard to contain. I feel more than ever helplessly in love... and every minute of helplessness is amazing.

My Man

I can't help but recall with fondness the sweet experience I had on the evening of April 27th, one year ago. I had been noticing a quickly growing fondness in my heart towards a certain man who had recently extended the arm of friendship to me. I found that I admired him so much more than I had ever admired anyone in my life, and that both scared and amazed me. I knew we would be life-long friends; but deep down I desperately wanted it to be more than that. Especially, for some unexplained reason, the longing was strongest the night of April 27, 2008. And that's when he asked the "deepest question of them all," as he put it. Would I begin a relationship with him?

Obviously you know what my answer was.

It was a man I always wanted. One who was strong, and brave, and kind, and true. One who would have the courage to be everything he was meant to be. One who knew and stood for what he believed, and was not ashamed of it. I wanted a man who would fight for me if he had to. I wanted a loyal man who would protect me. I wanted one who could love and cherish me for who I was. And the only man that could win my timid heart would be a man who was not afraid of its contents.

Andy was and is that man, and still so much more. He is my man, and I am so proud of him. I am so lucky.

To Think it all Began a Year Ago...

...When Andy and I first acknowledged each other.

"So Brittney, r u going to accept my friend request?
(Now the pressure of it being public haha)"

"it would help if I had a request to accept anyway.
Then I might consider. *MIGHT*"

Now look at us.

Who would have thought from those first words, that in a year's time those very two would be madly in love with each other, happily married and looking forward to being parents?? Well, those two certainly weren't thinking along those lines at the time... One can never know what door love will come through, or how long the journey will be to discover it. But I can assure you, that I sure haven't regretted accepting that friend request, and the journey love took us on as a result is much more amazing than I could have ever fathomed. So yeah, maybe it was a little fast... But, if I had it to do over again, I would only do one thing different: do it a little faster!

The Wedding

What is it about girls and weddings? Most girls’ big dream-of-a-lifetime is their wedding. They think about it from the time they’re little toddlers running around pretending they are the bride of the most recent wedding they attended. As they grow older they form opinions on details such as colors and dress styles and bouquet flowers. A bridal magazine randomly arriving in the mail gets poured over for months and in moments of sheer boredom looking up wedding dresses on the internet is a sure way to pass the time.

I admit it, I was one of those girls. My wedding day was probably going to wind up being the ultimate hilt of my life. In fact, it would be so wonderful that it would surely be the best wedding everybody there ever attended.

And then I met Andy. We fell in love, we became engaged, and I discovered that I loved this guy so much I could hardly care less how my wedding came together.

In spite of the times where just eloping seemed entirely too practical, appealing and most budget-efficient, we stuck to our guns and made our plans for a small military wedding.

I won’t deny the fact that there were many times when it was just plain hard. We had numerous separations due to an army schedule Andy had to keep while complications and constant hurdles thrown our way seemed to be the story of our life. Sometimes it felt like Satan was working overtime to destroy what God had created for us. But the details began to come together. As the days went by, our wedding became more and more of a reality. It was exciting to think it was actually going to happen! The thrill wasn’t so much in the wedding… It was in loving this man so much and getting to be his wife that drove me to the crazy hilt of joy.

. . : : T H E R E H E A R S A L : : . .

The day of the rehearsal I was running around town taking care of last minute details. People kept asking me why I wasn’t nervous, didn’t I know I was getting married tomorrow? I was informed that I didn’t seem like I was getting married the next day. I guess the bride is supposed to be stressed out, and here I was offering to help my to-be sister in-law who seemed to have too much on her plate.

I went down to the church with my sister and her sister in-law to work on decorating. As the pink bows and hydrangea flowers began to change the atmosphere of the sanctuary the realization that this was indeed my wedding was slowly beginning to dawn on me. My sister sat down at the piano to practice the piece she was to play and as the music filled the auditorium my heart began to beat fast.

A glance at the clock told me that I needed to rush home and get out of my shabby clothes and do something with my hair and make-up or I was going to be the only grungy one at the rehearsal. I had less than an hour to make myself half-way presentable and make sure I had all my bags packed for the bachelorette party, wedding and honeymoon. It just so happened to be that particular hour in which all of the out of town guests showed up and had to come back to the bedroom to say hi; the emcee needed me to write lists for songs and bridal party attendants and proper name pronouncement; my phone was ringing off the hook and everybody was wondering if I knew what time the rehearsal started. That was the only time in which I began to feel a slight knot of stress in the pit of my stomach which would soon turned into excited happy butterflies. I was marrying the man of my dreams the next day!!!

It took about four tries of going down the aisle at the rehearsal before we got it down relatively pat. The deejay had a hard time remembering when to play which songs and to make sure the volume was loud enough for people to hear it. Would we wait behind the unity candle until the song was done…. And do take into consideration the train of the dress so it doesn’t get tripped over…. Make sure you move forward so the stage doesn’t look so crowded…. And don’t forget to hold hands…. No, you can’t rehearse the kiss. Other than that, it went off without a hitch.

The rehearsal dinner was delicious… or so I was told. I was cuddling my one year-old nephew at our table before I finally got up to get some food for my uninterested appetite long after everyone had sat down with their own. My other nephew announced to the whole assembly, "Oh look! Beemoo’s finally going to eat!" I don’t remember what it tasted like. I was in a pleasant state of shock sitting next to my tomorrow-to-be-my-husband realizing that the next time I would see him would be at the head of the aisle in his sharp dress green uniform.

. . : : T H E B A C H E L O R E T T E P A R T Y : : . .

That night my bridesmaids and a few close friends threw an informal bachelorette slumber party for me. Nine girls crowded into one hotel room with bags of interesting gifts and goodies for me to take on my honeymoon made for a very fun last-night-of-being-single. We did all sorts of interesting girly things like painting our nails, applying matching tattoos to various parts of our bodies and giggling. I don’t know how many times one or the other would squeal in excitement, "BRITTNEY!!! You’re getting MARRIED tomorrow!!!!" Wow. And so I was.

Sleeping was something of a joke for me. Our sleeping arrangements were a bit cramped—I settled myself in between two sleeping girls in one queen-sized bed. I was too happy to care if I slept or not. I was getting married. Life was good. Sleep unnecessary.

I probably would have experienced more sweet slumbers had one of the girls not been sleep walking on sleeping people and trying to add a fourth person to the crowded bed I was in. A few of us thereby developed an acute case of the giggles.

. . : : G E T T I N G R E A D Y : : . .

The alarm rang at 7AM. Looking outside at a clear blue sky promised an absolutely glorious day. I knew it was one of God’s special wedding gifts just for Andy and me.

We rushed around taking showers and putting our things together. The limousine arrived and we loaded up our bags of luggage and the arm-load of plastic-covered satin.

The next 5 hours were spent in a haze of hairspray and tangled curling irons. Dresses were ironed, make-up applied, and we girls oohed and aahed over each other’s awakened beauty. I knew that the girls in my wedding party were gorgeous, but never had they looked more stunning than on that day in their soft pink satin dresses. I was so proud of each of them and loved them so much!

The only thing that frustrated me to no end was knowing Andy was in the same building as I and I could not see him. It added suspense to the thrilling knot of joy in my stomach. How desperately I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and how excited I was to be his wife!

Once my hair was done I was ready to slip into my dress. Accompanied by our photographer, my matron of honor and my mom I stepped into the satin and beads and sparkles of my wedding gown. Courtney patiently laced up the endless loops while other girls, one-by-one filed in and made exclamations of delighted excitement.

And then my dad was allowed entrance. I’ll never forget the huge smile on his face and his tender, "You look beautiful, Britt." I don’t know when I have ever seen him more proud, happy or handsome.

The veil was secured in place over my head and the next thing we knew it was time to assemble ourselves for the procession. I could faintly hear music coming from the auditorium and was tingling with joy and anticipation of walking down that aisle and looking into the eyes of the man I loved so much to forever seal the union of our lives.

. . : : T H E C E R E M O N Y : : . .

The processional music was playing. I watched as those beautiful smiling girls slipped out of sight, on the arm of a man in uniform, making their way down the aisle. The pastel pink satin against the dark green uniforms was amazingly sharp.

Jesu, joy of man’s desiring,
Holy wisdom, love most bright;
Drawn by Thee, our souls aspiring
Soar to uncreated light.

I giggled as the little ring bearer and flower girl made their way up the aisle sprinkling petals in the cutest, most adorably classic fashion that becomes flower girls and ring bearers.

The music was reaching a crescendo. It was our turn. My heart was beating fast as I clutched my bouquet with one hand and slipped the other into Dad’s arm and we began our slow ascent.

Word of God, our flesh that fashioned,

With the fire of life impassioned,

Striving still to truth unknown,

Soaring, dying round Thy throne.

There was Andy, standing so tall and handsome at the end of the aisle that suddenly seemed so long, his loving eyes captivating mine. I could hardly tear my eyes away from his gaze from that moment on.

Here we were, our wedding day. Our love was being celebrated by all those present and the dream of our lifetime was unfolding with each slow step my white high-heeled sandals made down the petal-strewn aisle runner.

"Who giveth this bride to this man?" The pastor asked. And my dad’s strong, confident voice declared "Her mother and I." He brushed my veil aside to kiss my cheek and then placed my hand in Andy’s. My heart was bubbling over with such intense joy.

Truth is, I can but vaguely recall the profound things that the minister had to say after that, other than "Ladies and Gentlemen, we are gathered here together today to mourn the passing of a good man. Oops, wrong service." I was so tuned in to Andy’s gorgeous blue eyes, the way he tenderly caressed and squeezed my hand and his gentle whispers. "Brittney, you are so beautiful…. I love you so much…. I can’t believe today is our wedding day…. I can’t wait for tonight…. I’m so glad you will be my wife…. You are so beautiful…." Now I know what kinds of things couples whisper to each other at the altar.

And then my dad got up and sang a special song. He had asked me several weeks before if he could sing, but he wanted the song to be a surprise. Accompanied with his guitar, my mom on her upright bass and a violinist friend he began to sing…

Look at the two of you dancing that way,
Lost in the moment and each other's face
So much in love you’re alone in this place
Like there's nobody else in the world
I was enough for her not long ago;
I was her number one, she told me so
And she still means the world to me just so you know
So be careful when you hold my girl
Time changes everything life must go on
And I'm not gonna stand in your way

How could that beautiful woman with you

Be the same freckle-faced kid that I knew

The one that I read all those fairy tales to

And tucked into bed all those nights

And I knew the first time I saw you with her

It was only a matter of time

But I loved her first

And I held her first

And a place in my heart

Will always be hers

From the first breath she breathed

When she first smiled at me

I knew that the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday

But it's still hard to give her away

I loved her first

Someday you might know

What I'm going through

When a miracle smiles up at you

I loved her first

Andy told me later that was the one part of the ceremony he noticed my eyes well up. My dad’s love and support for us meant so much to me and the way he expressed it touched me deeply. After the ceremony many people commented on how electrifying that song was to them.

The minister then shared words about this assembly gathering together to witness this covenant of marriage. I’m grateful he gave us a copy of his notes because someday I’m going to go back to remember what wise things he had to say, and not just the twinkle in his eye as he watched how oblivious we were to everything but each other.

The majestic orchestral music began to play "The Prayer" as performed by Josh Groban and Charlotte Church. Andy held my hand and looked deep into my eyes and whispered his love. I wondered why the kiss had to wait until the end of the ceremony.

I pray You’ll be our eyes and watch us where we go

And help us to be wise in times when we don’t know

Let this be our prayer as we go our way

Lead us to a place, guide us with Your grace

To a place where we’ll be safe

I pray we’ll find Your light and hold it in our hearts

When stars go out each night let this be our prayer
When shadows fill our day

Lead us to a place, guide us with Your grace

Give us faith so we’ll be safe.

We ask that life be kind and watch us from above

We hope each soul will find another soul to love

Let this be our prayer just like every child

Needs to find a place, guide us with Your grace,

Give us faith so we’ll be safe

As the song came to an end, we vowed our lives together forever—until death would us part. And then as a token of our love and a symbol of our unending commitment we exchanged our white-gold wedding bands.

My sister sat down at the grand piano and began to play a piece that she had arranged just for this special day. I had told her the previous summer when I first heard this song that I wanted her to play it someday at my wedding for our unity candle. Con te partirò, or Time to Say Goodbye, is a gorgeous song, and Courtney’s arrangement was so beautiful. While she played Andy and I lit the flame on our unity candle. As it flickered we held each other’s hands. Andy pressed my finger against his wedding band with a twinkle in his eye. "We’re married! Can’t wait to kiss you!"

A dear and very talented friend of my husband’s family sang a song that was very special to Andy and I. She made Steven Curtis Chapman’s "I Will Be Here" even more beautiful.

Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up and the sun does not appear
I will be here

If in the dark we lose sight of love hold my hand and have no fear

'Cause I will be here

I will be here... when you feel like bein' quiet,

When you need to speak your mind I will listen
And I will be here when the laughter turns to cryin',

Through the winnin' and losin' and tryin' we'll be together

'Cause I will be here

Tomorrow mornin' if you wake up and the future is unclear

I will be here

Just as sure as seasons are made for change

Our lifetimes are made for years

I will be here

I will be here....

You can cry on my shoulder when the mirror tells us we're older

I will hold you and I will be here to watch you grow in beauty

And tell you all the things you are to me

I will be here

I will be true to the promise I have made

To you and to the One who gave you to me

I will be here

And just as sure as seasons are made for change our lifetimes are made for years

'Cause I will be here....

We'll be together

'Cause I will be here

I’ll never forget standing there at the altar with my husband and feeling the impact of the words to this song and expressing its meaning by squeezing his strong hand. We gazed intently into each other’s eyes, feeling the emotion of our commitment and incredible gratitude to the One who gave us to each other.

And then came the best part.

We were pronounced man and wife.

Andy lifted my veil, wrapped his arms around me and tenderly kissed my lips.

In that moment everything else faded and it was just him and I lost in the moment, surrounded by the most beautiful love in all the world.

Handel’s Water Music announced the completion of our ceremony. Courtney handed my bouquet back to me, and with my hand on his strong arm we walked down the aisle as Mr. & Mrs. Andrew Hobein feeling happier than we had ever felt in all our lives.

. . : : I N S U M M A R Y : : . .

Our wedding was a dream come true. It was so perfect, so beautiful and so incredibly happy.

None of my dreams in the past could have ever created the perfection and emotion of this special day. No amount of planning could produce the beauty that was ours that day.

There was no doubt in my mind that God had planned this day for us. His gift of love to us was the most beautiful wedding gift that we received. I will never ever forget the perfection, the passion, the ardor, the most beautiful love and happiness that we experienced upon the commencement of our marriage.

So what is it about little girls and weddings? It’s the life-long dream and desire planted by the Father of Love inside their hearts. It only grows with time, and when they meet their one true love, they discover how small their dreams were in comparison to the reality of their love. From such dreams come perfect weddings.