Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Footprints Our Baby Made

How very softly
you tiptoed into our world.

Almost silently,
only a moment you stayed.

But what an imprint

your footsteps have left
upon our hearts.
(Dorothy Ferguson)

In loving memory of our precious baby whose life was a beautiful gift from God, given to us to love and cherish for but a short time. Our little angel touched our lives in a way no one ever has. We grieve, but not as those who have no hope; because there's a Father in heaven who's taking good care of our treasure... And while he romps on streets of gold, we can imagine just how much more wonderful heaven will be.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

To Think it all Began a Year Ago...

...When Andy and I first acknowledged each other.

"So Brittney, r u going to accept my friend request?
(Now the pressure of it being public haha)"

"it would help if I had a request to accept anyway.
Then I might consider. *MIGHT*"

Now look at us.

Who would have thought from those first words, that in a year's time those very two would be madly in love with each other, happily married and looking forward to being parents?? Well, those two certainly weren't thinking along those lines at the time... One can never know what door love will come through, or how long the journey will be to discover it. But I can assure you, that I sure haven't regretted accepting that friend request, and the journey love took us on as a result is much more amazing than I could have ever fathomed. So yeah, maybe it was a little fast... But, if I had it to do over again, I would only do one thing different: do it a little faster!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

A Peek at Our Li'l Peanut

And now it's time to show off our baby's first portrait... taken at the age of 8 weeks gestation on the 20th of February.

I was really happy that I could schedule my first prenatal appointment while Andy was still home--most likely the only appointment he would get to be in on. Because the gestational age was still so young, hearing the heart beat was not going to be an option. The sweet nurse thought it necessary though for the daddy to get to have some sort of remembrance of his baby to carry with him to Iraq, so she brought in the ultra sound machine. I'm not sure what was more fun for me... Seeing our teeny little baby for the first time and watching his heart beating, or seeing how fascinated and proud my husband was as he watched his baby on the monitor. It was really a very special occasion, I can assure you. "His baby's pictures" were one of the last things tucked safely into his ruck sack the day before he left.

In other news, for those of you who might just so happen to be wondering, the pregnancy--at 9 1/2 weeks--is going really well and I'm feeling great. It's a very thrilling thought to think that I have Andy's baby growing inside of me. I find a lot of comfort in his absence with this special little gift that God surprised us with.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Perhaps Love

Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble when you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home
Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself and don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through
Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel
For some a way of living, for some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on and some say letting go
And some say love is everything, and some say they don't know

Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflict, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside, thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true
My memories of love will be of you ....My memories of love will be of you....

--John Denver

Saying Goodbye

“Couldn’t we just go home?” the crying little girl asked her mommy, as if that would keep Daddy home.Her plea echoed my own. Everything in me screamed to take my own man in uniform and… just go home. Leave this deployment behind and go on with our lives: together. Set up our own home... watch our baby grow... see our dreams unfold... experience the joys that life brings to most normal newly wed couples...

But no, that wasn’t the answer. Just going home wasn’t the way it worked. I felt so sad as I watched my husband and all the other soldiers there that day finalize their packing and load up all the possessions they would have to their names for the coming twelve months into semi trucks to be delivered to their next destination. Their mood was one of anticipation and excitement, mixed with a hint of apprehension. In just a matter of moments they would be hugging their loved ones goodbye… Some of whom they would most likely not see for an entire year’s wait. Proud and supportive loved ones stood around, yellow ribbons pinned to their jackets. Wives and sweethearts spilled tears on the shoulder of their soldier's uniform. Little children sobbed into the necks of their daddies, trying to understand why they had to leave. Emotions were high, yet a quiet sense of strength and American pride was felt in the crowd gathered that day. For myself, saying goodbye to the man I so deeply love was the hardest thing I've ever had to muster up the courage to do. A year is a very long time to be apart, and this day I had dreaded since we met eleven months before. It was now time to turn over the most amazing part of my life; it was the moment that marked the end of the 5 ½-month blissful dream we had lived. For the last time, he patted my tummy and told me to take good care of his baby. For the last time he wiped away the tears trickling down my cheeks and said that everything would be okay. For the last time, he held me close to his heart and whispered that he loved me. And then he walked away, joining his platoon just before they marched out those doors and through the canopy of flags to the cheers and applause of the locals gathered outside. Just before he disappeared, he turned around and blew a kiss... for the last time.

Even though the miles between us are great and the time between now and his return is too much for me to wrap my mind around, the bond between us has not weakened. That's the amazing thing about love and its strength.It's the prayers and support of our friends and family across the nation that keep us going. I want to say thank you to each of you who remember us in that way.