Thursday, January 22, 2009

Questioning the Edge of Sanity

Ever since my last post I have had every good intention of being a good blogger and writing something witty or cheerful or interesting or un-Andy-related (impossible) or at least letting you know that I am not all but falling off the edge of sanity.

I bet I could about make you bawl along with me with my heart-wrenching tale about how I had to drive 400 miles in one day and clean out our cozy little home all by my sad and lonely self (and oh! the memories!!!). Trust me, I have these moments of amazing inspiration. These beautiful, eloquent thoughts flit around in my head that I just know would touch your soul and totally impress you. But then I come up with these lame excuses... "They're gonna get sick of all the mush-stuff that I can't help but talk about because I happen to have married the most important Andy ever... Shoot, my camera and all the cool pictures are across the room in my purse... Ugh, I don't feel like going to ''..." Lame, I tell you.

What was this post supposed to be about anyway? I don't remember what got me going... You see I have this problem lately... Not only is Andy my home (walking around in uniform), he also took my heart. And as if that weren't enough, any bits and fragments of brain I used to possess somehow got tangled up with him too. So now, not only am I homeless, lonely and heartless... I'm brain dead too.

Seriously. Just to prove it, I'm half tempted to tell you about the time that I put my car in "drive" instead of "park", walked away and returned a while later to realize my mistake. The only reason why I'm fortunate enough to not have the replacement costs of a garage door, speed boat and tool bench to pay is because my car happened to be stuck in a snowbank.

Then there was the time I was shivering in my car the whole way home from having lunch with a friend, wondering why the heater wasn't working when it dawned on me that the heater only works when it is turned on.

My Gram'a (whom I happen to be renting from) woke me up at 4am one morning to tell me the dome light of my car was on.

I couldn't even count all the times I have misplaced my keys and cell phone.

I am a hopelessly displaced individual. Did I say something about not falling off the edge of sanity? Now that I have completed this post-that-I-can't-remember-why-I-started-writing-in-the-first-place, I have convinced myself that perhaps I was mistaken. Maybe that was the whole point of this note. At least I learned something even if you didn't.

My one sole happy thought is that my darling is going to be home for three weeks in eight more days.... So if I survive eight more days without a brain, hopefully the three weeks with him can charge me up for a whole year.


Ranelle Del Belle said...

Well, Brittney... I guess you haven't completely lost your sanity since you can still write a post that makes me smile. However, this post didn't just make me smile, it made me want to tell you that I've been praying for you - and I will pray for you throughout this upcoming year!!! May it be a time where God becomes more real to you than He ever has been before! God bless you, and I hope you have a wonderful 3 weeks once you survive these next 8 days!

Anonymous said...

Feeling for you, all the way over in Australia...

May God comfort and strengthen you during times of loneliness.


ps. I alway enjoy your posts, even if it is Andy, Andy, Andy. That's what makes it so special here, is your love for one another. :)

elizabeyta said...



Take life one breath at a time and with His help you will get through.


Melissa Searle said...

Oh sweetheart... my heart feels so much for you! You will get through it though, and remember that the Joy of the Lord is your strength. Am thinking of you and praying for you! Enjoy your time with Andy, and make sure its just You and Andy time! Youll need it. :) Love ya, and if you ever need a hug from far away, let me know. ;)

Melissa Searle said...

Oh, and dont ever think that we get sick of hearing about Andy this or Andy that.. never. You be yourself, if it all helps you cope, then go for it. :) xoxo