The Lover's Priority

Her aspirations were noble, her longings sincere, but her heart was misguided. 
She was trying too hard. 

She longed for romance; God-honoring, pure, beautiful. The kind you write about, 
the kind that's held up to the young people in her life she wished to influence 
as godly and worth the wait and to be modeled. 

She knew her God was capable of writing the romance of her life, but the years were passing, 
her friends began to marry, and the young men she thought of, in the purity of her heart, 
as possible candidates became unavailable one by one.

She read the stories, she studied the authors, she felt hope. 
But meanwhile she became consumed in the appearance of her life being one of 
holiness, godliness, righteous; to be emulated. 
She became a slave to her works, and her emotions told her 
when she was near to the heart of God, and when she had drifted. 

And then, much to her joy, a man came along who admired her 
and they fell in love and wedding plans were made. 
Their relationship was pure, it had all the elements she dreamed of.

But somewhere along the way she had been made to understand 
that of all priorities in life, her walk with God was of utmost importance, 
and it was to come on a different plane than that of her marriage. 

She entered her marriage feeling that her Bible study and prayer time 
was of a higher priority and came first before serving her husband. 
She thought that having a sweet relationship with God was the jewel of her heart 
to be guarded above all else, at all costs, including her marriage.

As the months went by, the love story she thought she was living was dying. 
She and her husband were drifting apart emotionally. 
Their marriage was mediocre; passionless. 
She felt her husband wasn't spiritual enough so for the sake of her children, 
she delved even deeper into what she felt was holiness.

In the sincerity of her heart, she failed to understand the wisdom of a three-fold cord 
not being easily broken. 

A beautiful marriage is not one in which the wife maintains her own spirituality.
A beautiful marriage happens only when the man and the woman become one 
and therefore become heirs together of the grace of life. 
This is only possible when two lovers are ravished with each other and share the deep, 
wild intimacy that Song of Solomon depicts. 

This is the type of union that God created in the Garden of Eden. 
He created Eve to be the Lover and Sustainer and Life-Giver along-side of Adam. 
She was created to fulfill him.

And so, by the Grace of God, that your prayers are not hindered, (I Peter 3) understand this. 
Have a deep, passionate, intimate love affair with your husband. 
This is what glorifies God, and this is how you 
come to know and understand Him and His love for you.

:: :: ::


The story depicted here is not based on any one specific girl, but on many; part of it even including myself. I fear for the marriages of those girls who approach marriage in this way. I see this trend in conservative Christian circles and it scares me. A void, mediocre, passionless marriage SCARES me, and it is my number one priority to guard against that because don't you understand, dear reader, that such a marriage plays exactly into the Prince of Darkness's hand?